Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
