He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
