And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
