I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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