I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
