There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
