Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
vagina is talking i cant
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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