I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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