what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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