I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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