Please, let me fuck your mom
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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