I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
