I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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