I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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