But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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