and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
