I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
