i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
