her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
