i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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