I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
