i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
