Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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