can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Im part way to drunk.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
