Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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