i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
40s are totally the cure
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
