Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
