3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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