I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
