So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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