How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
