I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
