How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
