Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
