Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Ketchup is God's man juice
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
