he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
