Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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