You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
