woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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