I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
