sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
