i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
