at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
