It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
