it hurts more in the daytime
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
