proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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