I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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