This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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