im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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