I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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