I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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