Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
