Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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